so cute.....hug hug hug!!!=)

im granted freedom.
a life of my own.
those peace i yearn.
perfectly relax.




feel like getting a job.
jie help mi find.
later she calling mi and tell mi.
thankiew!=)





today pack up quite ok.
da tuba section.
feel like killing them.
they have things lying around those drawers.
so messy n untidy.
guys.
haiz.
wed then transfer.
tml go n do stock taking n paste stickers.









this messenge is for songying:
(tat question u asked for quite a number of times)
my ans 2 tat ish always a duno. ish nt i dun tell u or wad. ish juz tat im nt concern abot tat thing. i dun wish to think. im more concern abot my studies n i wan to do it well. tat question u said, even if anyone force mi to say, i will still say "i dun noe". my mind dun seems 2 really thinking abot it. =)

nonsenses. arguments. disagreements.
has been around in my hse.
making mi real crazy.
=@.

have a great cry this morning before going kim seng band wif nadia n elise.
my panda eyes were really sunken n dark.
i really look so awful today.
even a ugly ducking looks beta than mi a 100 thousand times.
meet them at tiong bahru mrt there.
we got a free taxi to there.
her ex-senior drove us there.
he's also a member at KSWS, play da trombone.

KSWS is ok.
they really blast like siao.
i cant hear myself wen i start playing.
nadia drag mi to play neway.
we warm up. played songs. its fun actually.




played the starwars theme, evening nite of the fishing boat and lots more.
sum r real difficult.
and my dear spec got spoilt.
da screw duno drop where.
in KSWS rm.
then wore my one-legged specs.
look super duper retarded.
nadia thinks its cool.
hahaz.




went lunch there.
wif nadia's seniors.
all fuchun.
sort of a fuchun band gathering.
im like an extra.
hahaz.




they the trombone guy again drove us to SWS.
he wana tok to mr ng.
plus to see de youths practising for their concert this sunday.
gona miss it.
=(.
the song they played very nice.
exp da march.
so interesting.
hehex.






he drove us home again.
but then he drove mi to dover mrt.
i live so far.
tat nadia kapo ppl car home.
hahaz.
cant blame her.
no $ liao ma.
hahaz.
she beta dun smoke arhx.
go there break time she go n smoke.
b4 lunch n after also smoke.
piang xia.
she still tell mi dun eva try a puff.
haiz.
she arhx.







ssssoooo happieee today.
can see my dear2.
dun think negative.
im perfectly normal.
hehex.
long time no see her.
then can see her today.
very haaapppiiiieee!






pack up tml again!
at 11am!
aiyo!
hope can finish packing by tml.
tues tranfering!
hehex.












*gud luck for my dear seniors hu are taking their O levels tml!!!!!*
*may god send his angels to guide them*

went packing at at 9am today.
mi n joyce were there at first.
then after that yuanling n shikin cum.
today got ppl cum n take sum old instruments away.
packed till rougly 1pm bahx.
duno y ms johnson dun wan to discard those broken stands away and the vaccum cleaner.
those seems to be trash.
wadeva.

tml think going kim seng band wif shikin n nadia ba.
tml no tution ma.
plus nth to do.
mood swing lor.
marmie think i shld go n relax myself abit.
maybe sit there and hear them play.
or else next time wan to go.
no chance liao.
7am must go liao.
so early lor.
haiz.

monday pack up again.
tues transfer liao.
then also must go.
very tiring.
got so much things to pack n only 4 helping.


haiz.
while doing all those packing,
saw one whole stack of photo albums.
band photos since 1995 till 2000 or 2001 onli.
they seems to be so united and ethu.
hahaz.
n de toot toot weihang.
mi n joyce decided to give them to emmeline.
that will be fun.
hmm.
how i wish we could be like our seniors in the past.
ROD in hotels, band camp, BBQ.
so fun.








haiz.
most of my frens are in woodwind.
and im in the brass.
sumtimes i tend to hav dilemma.
the feeling is like im in the middle of a maze.
there's two routes for mi to turn to.
but im confused to go to the left or the right.
wen i started to pray for a middle route.
it doesnt seems to appear.
im juz stuck in the middle of the maze.
duno where to head to.




i tried to control my actions.
and tried not to go against my frens.
of cuz i wun blame them.
but it seems to failed each time,
wen i wan to do the things i wan.
m i being selfish or wad?
perheps.
i hate to hate others.
those gangs n grps,
they are driving mi real craze.
but wad shld i do.
god gives mi the strength n courage to not to hate.
i shldnt deceive god and exp myself.
its a sin.


*mi, myself n i. accept it or not.i dun care*
shld i do this?
i dun wan.
it will hurt my frens.

*my frens should accept hu m i but not wat they wan mi to be*
it seems so selfish.

*frens are not foes. god give us frens to be wif. we shld cherish wat god has planned for us*
i think i will stick to this.
everyone is my fren.
i shld cherish wad god has planned for mi.







"Relationships of all kinds should be at the top of your priority list today. Try to be aware of the effect that you have upon others and the effect that they have upon you. And just realize that many of the negative thoughts that limit you may not be relevant. So don’t be afraid to go after what you want right now."
-god indeed answer my prayer.
indeed i got negative thoughts on wad ppl will say wen i go too close to the trumpet section.
but god said that my thoughts may not be relevant.
i must not be afraid to go after wad i wan to do.
i also must put myself in others shoes.
i cant blame them.
thank god.
my prayer is answered.

stop treating mi as a mental patient.
im 100% fine.
i juz dun feel like toking n thats all.
ok.
i tend to bottle up my feelings.
so?
now u care it seems to be over.
ur duty as a father in mi has already fade.
ur care n concern seems like nobody's business.
n stop all those nonsense.
coz i wun give it a darm.

ur temper, ur harshness and ur actions.
broke up the family years ago.
though its over.
and its in the past.
i wun not 4get how u treat us.
exp my mum-ur wife.

those words that u had said to her.
i will nvr eva 4get.
so wad if im a child back then?
it seems to be like a hell to mi u noe?
u nvr noe how a child will think.
u nvr understand.

now.
im older.
teenager.
ur words now to mi is like.
nth.
u said u care.
u said u understand.
if u said that in the past.
life will be much better then.



past is already a past.
i know tat i should not bother.
but too bad.
those memories keep on playing back wen u start shouting to my mum.
those voices, those tears, those sorrows.
i seems to hear them whenever i start to close my eyes.
have u eva tok to her nicely?
she's ur wife.
all u do is to blame her.
blame urself 1st can!


*if u judge ppl, u dun have the time to luv them*
is this wad im suppose to learn?



i jux wana relax and i dun wan to think about anything.
juz wana mug during the holidays outside,
not at home.
tml go pack up again. at 9am bahx.

finally my cam is back.
whoosh.
haha.
its been on a cruise.
and im so jealous.

today is de sch closing ceremony.
like funneral lor.
shikin,yuanling n joyce played a so-called "funneral song".
the BB chairman or sth pulled dwn our gmss flag.
we den being kana escorted out of the sch by those uniform grps members.
it's so formal today.

we won in the inter-class.
today we got one big bag of snacks.
the guys also won.
but they receive theirs ytd or sth.
well done class.

haiz. nth to write liao. hmm. feel like changing my blogskin again.
*grins*

simply cant stand my bro.
hu he thinks he is.
can shout at mi like nobody's business.
y must i be the one always give in to him.
he always wan his things right away.
doesn't care about how i feel.
then mi lehx.
i dun have the right mehx?
bastard.
im already very polite.
USA peekx or wadeva british lar canadian la, i forget hu liao.
they greet ppl by calling them bastards.

today NE Learning Journey.
luv the boat ride and going to the supreme court.
cool huh?
get to see a case going on.
the boat ride.
quite long.
hahaz.
it played the singapore rhasphody xia.
hahaz.
=)))))))))

tml 2nd round of packing up in the band rm.
still got lots of things to settle.
piang.
busy busy busy.
ok.
lets see our SYF photos.
http://www.class-pictures.com/
up there is the webbie.
thx to kit ying.
=)))))))))))))))



We looked so small....

standard photo...

college....=))))

FUCHUN!!!! Where's nadia????=))))


=))))))))))))))))))))))))))

inter-class games today.
yea man! thrash Faith 3-2.
they are juz bunch of bitchs and etc.
juz a game onli.
lose liao still not happy.
"ren du fu shu" lar.
everyone is a winner lor.

my results suck.
i wun say much abot it here.
mum was abit unhappy.
but she know that i had done my best liao.


went to packing at band rm.
pack all those messy stuffs into boxes.another round on thurs.
onli sum of us onli.
others i bet they wun go.
nvm.
hack them.
quite happy that sum kind souls in band came n help.
"THANKIEW"hehex.


the shooting is postponed to next wednesday.
1st june. 3.30pm. at great world city.
qianqian will be in the show this friday.
hehex. =)))))))
mugging my horn n studies during this holidays.
hmm.
i have decided liao.
i must do it manx.
or else i will hate myself forever.
wadeva.

went out wif song n choo to tm.
then mi n choo went orchard.
these are sum of the neoprints we had taken.
rest are sum pics i took wif jie on friday.







nice waters huh?=)

sum peeks surfing....=)

simply lurbee the sky....XP....[nvr use flash de jie guo..dark hor?]

looks dangerous...[0



jie so sad..=(

crazy

mi n jie

the biggest smile n the truthest smile i had in life....XPPPPPP



we're luving it...

this guy not scared of death wen it cums to do sth for her gf...wei da...pei fu..

nice doggy...

high tide...



dun die!!!!! haha...lol

jie self pic....=)

rawks forever manx...

mi n jie going back hom frm parkway..


jie write de..hate that fucking sanjoy manx.....=@

muhahahahaha...horn rawkx....

i look super 2pit..



hehe

last time our holding sch...now so haunted like tat..






haiz....this few days keep on going out the whole day...haiz...im so bad lor...sum more today i think i reach home at 7.30pm..piang....haiz...sorry marmie...but in the end she nvr scold mi....hehex....=)))))))
heard that yong yuan kana expelled frm skool....haiz....think he went overboard thats y...haiz.. duno lar....
hmm.....so fun being out wif frens....but in the end keep on spenting money....haiz....must save save save liao....cant always spend..."not healthy" lehx....LOL....
sad sad...i spent over 60 bucks this week!!!!!! piang!!!! =((((((

ok.
oral was done.
i tot i will freak out during eng oral.
coz ish ms johnson.
hehex.
in the end.
hahaz.
the oral i had done it last year b4.
it's the same lor!
woohoo!
exams are finally over!!!! =))))))))))))


ok,siewhua is so crazy abot this thingy up there.
coz this is the last one she's looking for.
and she was like begging for it like siao.
n wif her lucky hands n first time she buy.
she got it.
and she turn mad abot it.
this is how we spent our oral break.

walk home wif siewhua.
then see yang cheng.
ya.
then see siewhua home.
then we walk home.

such a boring afternoon.
but later it will soon be lotsa fun wif jie.
woohoo.

after im done wif my POA paper 1.
im dwn on my table drawing.
sorry kleo.
im juz so bored.
done within haf an hr.
still got another haf.
so draw lor.


on kleo's table.....

if you cant see. up there is wad i had drawn.
i tink im too bo liao.

all of a sudden i hate to cum online.
duno why too.
i juz wana rest.
exams juz over today.
tml eng n chinese oral.
ms johnson is my english examiner.
how m i going to face her n start reading.
arghx.

went out wif choo n val to suntec.
eat at pizza hut.
then went shop shop.
hehex.
i bought a stupid hat n a DUFFLE BAG.
n i simply luv it.
blue.
COOL!!!

drinking jolly shandy now.
im drunk.
hahaz.
not so fast lar.
20 cans than maybe.
haha.

I LURBEE MY BLUE DUFFLE BAG!!! =))))))))))))))

finally im feeling better.
sunday morning.
wake up at 5plus am.
juz to vomit.
5 times in all.
surrender myself to the doctor at 9 plus.
the medicine was cool.
make mi super duper tired.
n i slept n slept.
finally at 6.
im well to start my physic n literature revision.
haiz.
this is how my sunday go.


maths paper was a killer!
darm bloodly difficult.
it was like a TORTURE!
haiz.
i wonder how the Amaths people cope.


hmm. hope that the weather is fine on friday.
going beach in the afternoon.
hahaz.
it will be darm hot i guess.
but hu cares.
hahaz.




__2 more papers to go*
__chem & POA*

juz reach home not long.
went for a party.
those one month old n stuffs.
everyone is juz toking about my height.
as if i cant be tall.
oh plz.
i think im a shorty.
they duno wats the meaning of tall.
juz only i seems to be the tallest in my family and those people there, im not tall.
oh plz plz plz.
i wish to be taller.
muhahahahaha.
i dun care wad others say.
i juz luv to be taller.

the house near woodbridge.
hahaz.
i should have go there and see whether i can check in or not.
oh my my.
hahaz.
k la.


im so happy. everything is over. im so relax. so happy. mi n jie want go hunt for clothes one day. wen we got the money. two of us ish so broke now. hahaz. that wan is long-term de shi. now short-term de shi.........go out n have fun. do the things we wan. and go out wif my frens. happy happy. have band practise. then practise my concertos and go siao. hahaz. i kind of wana perform one of the concertos during ROD this year. hahaz. but then impossible one lar. so chimalogy. see liao i peng. notes jump jump here n high high de. hahaz. see how lor.





awwwww_______________________________________miss band*

went out wif jie after geo paper.
forgive her liao lor.
went esplanade library find scores.
she got hers n i got mine.
horn 4o studies n 4 horn concertos.
chim-alogy.
hahaz.
got to buck up like siao in my playing.
now like shit.
hahaz.
then after that went just noodles n eat again.
eat singapore laska.
i crave on the korean beef noodles.
but have to try sth new rite.

went home got a mild fever liao.
so jialat.
hahaz.
too heaty liao ba.
perhep.





[god urge mi to forgive you once more.
dun im still fumming.
god wans mi to make that decision.
takkie care.=)...]
[dun care wad others say about u ***, they are juz bitches that got nth to do...]

last nite.
fever.
nitemare.
="(((((((((((((

cried in class.
cant take it.
="((
getting more n more emotional each passing day.
the feeling is killing mi.
=((((((((

stubborn.
lost.
it really hurts.
sinkinhg dwn.
drown mi.

losted.
stabbed mi in my heart.
tell mi that im dead.

 

cant sleep.
in a great big dilemma.
tsk.
lord.
im so hurt to make tat decision.
=(


X@
why cant you think before you do!
why must you wait till wen u had done it then u feel guilty about it!
why must you wait till now wen u see how angry n pissed off then you vow that u will change!
why must you tell mi that you will change wen everything is over!
why must you make mi worry so much for you and in the end u still break my heart n hurt mi!
why must u always break your promises over n over again!
why must you like tat!!! WHY!!!

="(
how many times must you promise mi tat u wun do it again....
how many times must i ignore you wen u make the same mistakes...
how many times must u break my promises wif you....

="(
u think i wan to make that decision?
u think i wan to ignore u at ur wits end?
u think that i bear to juz leave u at this state?



="@
everything hurts you know. u understand or not? after exams then we tok about it kay? juz u wait for my reply. dun think about it anymore nor tok about it. concentrate on your exams. dun think so much. take care.

=::(
dun think i will blog here until after exams. maybe will blog a short line or wadeva. simply no mood.




=((((((((((((((((((((((





-lord, m i juz being to harsh?tell mi...=(

That little voice is trying to tell you something. Listen before you decide.-->wad voice??



Enough is enough. It's time to break your routine in a very big way. You're thinking that even if you have to look elsewhere, it might be worth it--->perhepx...


im so stress up wif work....haiz....till nw....
think i gtg n slp liao...
bueii!!!

boohoo.
kana caught nvr wear badge.
bleahx!
then lucky jiuyew lend muei.
phew!
during POA today.
mr ha suan mi.
arghx.
nvm.
coz i keep on writing trail balance instead of trial balance.
boohoohoo.


chapel was a blast.
everyone got a lovely voice today.
the guys done a gud job manx.
hehex.
i always like chapel.
tommy was super duper gud in his drumset xia!!!!!
he's always rawking the whole chapel!!!
he's really great manx.
muhahahahhaahahahz...
pastor joel taught us sumthing quite disgusting.
its about addiction to porns, computers n stuffs.
then share about god...wat his 2 daughters have done coz their mind are sort of affected. (sex).
yayaya.
n all those stuffs.


geo was rather boring all of a sudden.
i always luv geo lesson but not today.
ms khoo bad mood.
she came in wif a dull dull face. wonder why..
hmm. hmm.


i flung my wordpower very very badly.
i wun sae here.
bleahx. X0


chinese period.
went to help cher carry things.
saw ms johnson n ms choong.
one ask y i always dere. one sae i so guai.
la la lalalalala.
.............

after skool went to look for jie. (not him plz)
then we sit dwn, find mrs kaan n walk to mrt station n go back sch again.
we 2 are juz wasting time.
im so tired after studying recently.
almost 24 hrs mugging on books.
piang!


now eating pocky pocky.
its my fav strawberry!
yum yum!
hehex.

ok. ytd i went out wif my marmie. celebrate early mother's day. coz this sunday got a mother's day party for my ah ma. went shop shop around for my gor watch. then go parco i treat marmie n my cuzzin hu tag along at the crystal jade. not reali that ex lar.

after that went home, grab my books n go mac studie. frm 5pm all the way to 9pm. hahaz. then went walk walk b4 i go home.

yawn. so tired after all those sturdie. yawn. i go nap nap liao then go mug mug books again. buei buei! XP




I WAN A BIBLE!!! XP



so much so much i wish that he's out of my sight. =@
hate him. =(

juz after 30 laps of swimming!
im ssssoooo pucker up n hungry!
i went swimming on an empty stomach.
now steaming mantou to eat.
hehex.
yum yum!
hahaz.
later got 4-5hrs of tution!
wa!
oh.
my mantou calling mi!
bueiii!!!







_____________________*miss band*
*sob sob*