juz finish cuttin my hair.
its pretty well done.
im glad.
weather hot.
im have been out wif my mum since 11 till now.
im reali dead beat.

gor went for his drama competition at orchard.
he nvr tell mi.
or else i go there n support him.
make mi such a bad mei.
haiz.
wish him guddie luck then.
hope he will win. XP


now drinking sth alcoholic.
jolly shandy.
yum yum.
it cheers mi up wen im sad.
ghee.
muackx!

today school end at 10.20am. then i went out wif lichoo to town. watch movie at shaw hse--> lido theatre. watch divergence. b4 we watch the movie, two of us went taka to shop, cushion hunting, went kinokuniya, library. hahaz. at library saw esther wif a ermhmmm...a guy n then she sms mi, denying that she n him nth. hahaz. lol.

the movie is those action action type de. is nice. but then got alot of killing here n there lor. then see alot of looks of dead people. very scary. hahaz. i watch until jelly legs manz. coz like. the sound effect of the movie will really make mi get a shock and then its loud also. guns shooting here n there. ok. lets drop the subject. phew!


after movie, went shop around again. the movie quite long. frm 12:45pm till about 2:32pm like tat. hmm. she bought pencil case then after that we found ourselves chatting about sum scary things. blurrrrrr.

hehex. im kind of went out of mind. bang myself against the wall while walking. hehex. so fun lor. hahaz. then think she cant tahan mi. hahaz. wa!!! perlin sliver got a banch of new goods! they are so nice lor!!! i wan to buy the one wif musical concentos!! n the symphonic kinds!!! its making mi wana buy them lor. but then too bad, i promise my marmie to save up money. for no reasons. juz wana save up. hehex. i guai rite? hehex.

yar! mi n lichoo sae olinda!!! at the bits n pieces the shop there. i so siao lor. i went inside the shop to see whe is she or not. then lichoo dun dare. then we in the end fake fake wana buy things like that. then hahaz. we want to see olinda. hahaz. hehex. olinda kind of short. mi n lichoo agree wif that. hahaz. k lar.


going to town is always making mi mad. its like. there is so much things i reali wana buy. but then haiz. promise marmie lor. cant spent. must save. i wana buy comic book also cant. dardie dun like mi to read comic. exp for archie comic. all thx to the news. fine.


hmm. so tired. so stress. but after going out wif lichoo, i feel so relax n feel so comfortable. although the 2 of us fear sum things. the thing that i admire her the most that she doesn't breakdwn so easily wen she dreamt of sum things n she's able to carry on living manx. not like mi. haiz. hate life until like tat. but then this is wad god had planned for mi. im trying to accept fate like the way i accept god the 1st place.


ghee!!! tml going to cut my hair. yay!!! so happy. im not gona cut the length. juz the thickness. yupx. my hair so thick xia. marmie also cutting. but then she cutting short or sth. hehex. b4 that going to accompany marmie go temple. hehex. i guai hor. arbish mi! gheeee!



haiz. really feel much beta now. but then my head reali keep on spinning like hell. haiz. its been days liao. duno y likt tat. haiz. =(

ok. wad shall i say today.
since im online.
maybe frm next week onwards,
i wun be able to cum online so that often. coz must prepare for mid year liao. hahaz. but then i might cum in n write my blog onli. hehex. i one day nvr write blog i very xin ku de. lolx. hehex. 10may exam lehx. im so scared lor. exp for my POA. im still thinking about wat mr ha has been saying in class. im so scared i cant do well. haiz. wana aim for A1 ma. thats y. cant slack liao. once christoper sad to mi that sec 3 is a honeymoon. but then i think that it iszit a honeymoon lor. more worst than hell. the best thing is. sec 3=hell, sec 4= stress. hmm. lol.


haiz. stress stress stress. i need a break. n tml. school closes at 10.20am!!! woohoo! then going out wif lichoo they all go cushion hunting. yay! so fun lor! hmm. but then i must limit myself. must get home lastest 3pm. cant stay out for long. my health is important to mi now. hahaz. all of a sudden i care for my health. coz i wana be prepare for my examz both mentally n physically. hehex.


today in class. mi sort of quite moody. then headache coz nvr eat my medi. nr brg to sch lor. den im like haf dead wen i take the international new south wales de science paper. headache is darm spinning like siao. den i dwn dere struggling wif the paper. hopefully think can pass although i fluck the mock paper ytd. 21/45. lolx. after the paper quite a torture. suddenly feel so darm sick n reali wana puck. den in band hafway. i laff like siao till wana punk. almost scard qabir i think. hehex. im fine now. but then my headache dun seems to go away. darm it.

band wise. my siao cha bo self. hahaz. then jie wana fei li wo, pull my my skirt n etc. plus mi kana surrounded by so many sec1s, esp clarinets. hahaz. my bodyguards xia. i VIP!!! hahaz. lor.


packing up instruments that time and helping the percussion to pack up, i went real siao. hahaz. then darren call mi "siao horn cha bo". fine then i call u n qabir " siao horn ta bo" n " siao horn ta bo no. 2".



[jie arhx, dun keep on blaming urself for bullyig mi at times. i dun mind it at all lor. u dun think so much lar. no need to paiseh mi de. hahaz.]














wen we say goodbye...is like bidding goodbye foreva...=(

boo!
im here again.
1st thing in the morning.
kana book for low stocks!
wadeva.

im so sad.
today retake wordpower test.
coz im not in sch ytd.
n im doom.
i nvr sturdie a single word at all.
coz im sick.
thats an excuse i noe.
but then im demand to rest.
well.
im gona fail.
until very jialat.
="(

tml got the new south wales competition thingy. science. no need to prepare. n i also duno how to prepare for it. must use ur IQ EQ n ur general knowledge of science..
weee! im listerning to a true love story frm sumone. lol. im getting lame....hehex....
ok back to blogger.....
all of a sudden. i dun feel like going out. i juz dun feel like going out. i duno why. i juz wana go home. home is wad i wana go. at times i tell myself wad really happen to mi. n y there's a sudden change in mi. maybe im more thoughtful or sth or duno lar. in those drama shows or sth, wen sudden this happens, that means one of my family members is going to leave or sth. then god is trying to so called direct mi home so that i wun regret wen reali that happens.
fine. that wun happen. im juz thinking too much.

"You may have been feeling a little torn lately between your desire to go out and have a little fun and the demands of your home and family life. But you might be surprised at how well you’re able to connect with your loved ones right now, and it should be an excellent time to enjoy some romantic moments at home with someone special."
ok. up there is my horoscope for today. i duno y i will believe in that such. but then it seems to be quite true to mi all of a sudden. the 1st few sentence is true. but then errrr the ending ish quite so not true. errr excuse mi...im still single, mind you!

hahaz. getting so sian n tired. tml last band practise liao. then break for exam revision. so sad rite. gona miss alot of peeks liao. so sad lor. X(

the feeling is reali sux wen u can feel sth up in ur throat.
yet in the end u cant puke it out.
blah!!!
juz wana update.
dance- gold
choir-silver
band-silver
drama-bronze

yar. drama peekx is quite sad.
haiz.
nvm.
its over.
musn't let the failure control u peekx.

haiz. miss school is so sux.
cant even sturdie now.
tell mi wad to do!!!
=(

never go sch today.
im sick.
went to see the doc again ytd.
think ish the 4th time manz.
haiz.
i dun seems to get well.
now im head is really spinning.
sum virses went inside my head.
its reali killing mi.
doc ask mi rest.
must rest.
have to rest.
dats y today nvr go sch.
my cousin juz came back frm indo.
tell mi how to rest.
ytd band quite ok.
played noah's ark.
mr ng say we sounded beta than last time.
haiz.
i change another new skin.
the previous skin is making mi sick.
ok, i feel sth up in my throat.
byeei.

my head is spinning like siao.
im sick still.
n i dun even knew.
my mind is in a mess.
huge mess.
full of doubts n confusion.
n wadeva it takes.
i dun care.

sth happen to my blog. i cant see my entry. maybe coz i bitch my blog too much. n perheps my blog ish angry wif mi or sth. haiz. wadeva.
my cousin going back to indo tml morning. gona miss her although she sum times make mi wana kill her.
today got CIP. its fun. went to 3 family that our sch had adopted. we adopted 25 families. we juz have to donate food to them, make sure they got a hse to stay n so on.
my grp ish wif mr koh, christoper, benedict, deborah and murali. we travelled by mr koh's car. the 1st hse we visited is quite run dwn. the place is not reali like done or sth. no floor tiles. then the most sad thing is that the hse is infested wif bugs. poisonous bugs frm wad i heard. lucky its not deadly. it reali itches u like siao wen it bites u. they hang hot cloth to kill the bugs. thats the only way they can do to kill the bugs. so the cloth tends to have alot of blood stains. the walls of the hse hav cracks all over, black patches. haiz. reali feel sad for the family. they agreed to move. so its best for them to move as quickly as possible so as to get rid of the bugs.

we moved on to the 2nd home, n its the home that we stayed there the longest. think got roughly 1hr plus bahx. need to fix the lights and clean up the hse. i went to clean the bath rm area. n of coz the bowl. it reali stinks but CIP lehx. so help out lor. guys help to fix the lights n girls more to do the hsework. hahaz. the elderly was deaf. 100% deaf. he cant hear anything. zero. then we use sign lang to tok to him. hopefully he noes wat we are saying n doing lor. =) i dun reali noe wad happen much. coz im in the bathrm. its real dirty. stains are everywhere. but i try to scrub as much as possible.

3rd hse ish quite far away. ah soo rd or sth. we went to visit a christian elderly hu is now staying at a malay's hse. this shows racial harmony xia. coz last time, he is poor. and he's living in an estate where most of his neighbours are poor. but then he said that although he's poor, there are even more poorer ones. example for the lady that took care of him now. she took care of him since 9 i think. then they help each other to survive. wen the guy is able to work, he buys and repair 2nd hand stuffs like oven, etc. after that he sell it away to survive. he said this " learn to give more than you take.."," god father is fair". n then he say got ppl give him things in return wen he gives. although he's poor, he told us that, he helped ppl that are ppl poorer than him. he's reali nice. reali touched by his words.

really learn alot today. hmm. hope to do another round of CIP. hmm. next month bahx.

just shut up and go away!
u noe nth ok!
juz go! go!
i dun need u!
nvr in my whole life i will wan to need you!
juz go away!

life seems to be so unfair to mi. i juz wana rest. rest is wad i need. y cant he juz grant mi that. he keep on making mi so darm pissed! n juz cant take it anymore. kill mi if u want. for u think im useless. kill mi. let mi end all the stress n pain within mi! kill mi! juz kill mi!


u r always right. im always wrg. wad is this!? fine larx. go n join the gang of unreasonable club larx!


to think tat u noe everything. haha. i laff manz. very funi lor! u KNOW NOTHING OK! u juz noe how to scold mi. SHUT UP! N LEAVE MI ALONE!


y must these things keep on happening to mi. i reali hate the feeling lor. i reali need peace. i need a place to calm myself dwn. i juz wana smile once again. i dun wan to bottled up my feelings anymore. i dun wana breakdown. i dun wana cry. i dun wana feel emotional. i wana smile. i wana see myself smile.

mrs lee is not that fierce after all. she's juz strict in our work and juz appears to be and i think thats all. it's fun toking to her. hmm.
she likes cartoon. or i shld say, she's a cartoon freak-> thats wad she say in class today. haha. she say she likes watching lilo n stich, mulan 2, etc. lol.

eating my lunch. i cant always skip my meals rite? for instant i feel that i hate myself. ok. i only know how to eat wen my gastric acts up. juz like now. worse is that wen my gastric acts up, i dun eat. haiz. n so it get worst n worst, affecting my health so badly tat for my 2.4km run, haf way through n i got gastric n blocked nose. its so torturing running wen u r real sick lor. i regretted. but nvm lar. although my timing sux to the core, i nvr fail can liao.

ytd i was not online. whole day busy. after sch band till 5 pluz. pia home n reached home roughly 6.40pm like that. then wash up n pia for tution. my life is so darm stressful n tired. i need to rest!! im not a superwoman.fly here n there. but hey, even a superwoman need to rest. im juz a human wif no special powers. i need rest n i reali need alot!!!
actually ytd's tution end at 11pm. but then becoz i got literature test n my cousin got chinese test, we are dismissed at 9.90pm. but then on sunday, we will be having a 5-6 hrs of tution!!! hey! im reali going crazy lor!! how i wish i could tell my marmie im so darm stress up. but then, i dun think she will care. all she thinks was, more tution is gud for mi. i noe. but then its too long!!!!
exams are drifting near. im done wif my literature. juz one more scene for mi to cover n to check up a list of meanings.



haiz. next week got test. exams cuming still throw us so many test. monday chemistry test, tuesday wordpower test, wednesday got mock test for duno wad international science competition, thursday got the international science competiton thing. piang! sleepless nights n more coffee again. >0<


[lord.
im sorry that i repeat my mistakes over n over again.
i seems to be breaking my promise every single seconds,
and even in my dreams.
im sorry.
i juz cant control.
sorry.
amen.]

im simply so darm stress up wif my POA. but then, really wana thank mr ha for teaching mi. todae, onli mi n jiuyew stay back for sum extra POA lesson. hahaz. we wan ma. coz syf n plus i sick then miss alot of lesson lor. lucky he was kind enoff to give mi extra lessons. phew! guess im able to catch up on time.
hahaz. mr ha say for POA i think too far liao. he keep on saying its not difficult. but then i keep on thinking that its difficult lor. but then after today. actually its not tat difficult at all. im juz giving myself too much pressure i guess. then i tend to think alot wen the question is given . whether to debit it ? or credict? then should open sale account? or purchase? or expenses? etc. then i keep on asking y cant this n y cant that. then mr ha was like, aiyo! no need to think until so far. he say i think too ahead liao. like haven teach the stuffs right, im already wondering liao. then his facial expression is like telling mi to relax relax. coz hahaz, i keep on y cant like that? y this is wrg? y cant debit here? then i think he see mi like keep on shooting alot of questions. lol. in the end i manage to calm myself dwn. im juz giving myself too much pressure liao.


hahaz. after around 2 hr plus of POA. we are done. then jiuyew suggested to surf net usign his laptop. then he let us watch sum sites on......searching for haunted places in sinagapore n sum stuffs that reali can make mi cry n scared. wah!

got one site rite, its bout there's a face of a person biting jesus's arm in a portrait. then we went to see that face lar. then wen we watch the zoom in version. i almost freak out lor. wen i see the picture, i immediately can see the face. but then jiuyew n mr ha cant see lor. n i took ages to tell them. in the end they ask mi to draw out lor. im so scared. sum more ask mi to draw out lehx. i can die u noe. so scared lor. but finally, they can picture out. haiz. the two of them really make mi wana vomit blood. mr ha hor, aiyo still like young lor. likes to go n watch ghost stories n etc. haiz. his interest bahx. i cant say anything.


then after that we tok. hmm. tok things like our personal testimonialz, etc. mr ha is really a very nice teacher to tok to. and he's reali nice. hmm. we tok until 7 like that. haha. then u see. i reach home so late. lol


haiz. tml pft. im still sick. got quite a serious running tap. haiz. then i was like joking to my frens that tml they will see mi running n shouting for tissue. coz really lor. i experience b4. can run haf way cant breathe de. so hmm. tml i die liao. im scared that i will fail. coz body siao siao. sort of quite weak still. juz recover frm sickness. so hmm. nvm lor. i think i can do it. hahaz. i roll lor. hahaz.





[god,
help mi.
plz help mi.
i dun wan to think about those stuffs.
stress mi wif happy things n sturdies lord.
amen.]

yesterday i cant post any of the entries. coz the server is dwn or sth.
today. oh my. haiz. all thx to zhong lao shi. lol.


im chinese rap ma. then i was waiting for my chinese cher coz she got chapel duty. so i waited outside the staff rm for her. then suddenly that zhong lao shi came out of the staff rm n here goes...

her: " hey, u want to be on tv?"

me: "huh? wad r u toking about?"

her: " u noe the channel U de, you hua ju shuo? the show?"

mi: " yar, then?"

her: " i wan u to go.."

mi: " huh? mi...."

her:" aiya..not u alone onli, im asking sum frens of urs to tag along too.."

mi:" eeerrrr....."

then my chinese cher cum....

her:" its on the 25 may..then hey the place is at a shopping center rite?"..she ask my chinese cher...

my chinese cher: " yar. the place still duno which shopping center."

her:" ok. im asking her to go.", then she pointed at mi n she walk away.

mi: " u got anything for mi to carry to class?"

my chinese cher: " i dun think have, u can go back liao."

ok. i was back in class. then after the lesson ish about to end, my chinese cher was telling my class about the show thingy and sae that 4 students frm our class is going.
"yingyin, jeeyan, liyan n lichoo"
"ME!?" , oh my goodness lor. that zhong lao shi. she lor. she has been my chinese teacher for 2years. n now sec3 liao. she not teaching my class. then like ok lor. i tot that she wun reali cum n look for mi wen there's like outside events for mi to take part. but then im wrg. so wrg. she still cum up to mi n chase after mi. haiz. duno her lar.

k lor. she wan mi to go i go lor. i cant argue wif her rite?




hmm. i will tok about yesterday.
im sort of moody at first. then later after that ok liao. all thx to ms khoo. she's so nice n humorous! she everytime call benedict this nick" benedict peter james". coz wen ms khoo ask him to ans questions, he keep on saying that "he's not benedict, he's peter" n so on. so in the end, she call him "benedict peter james"



ok lets tok about ytd's band.
its my duty.
abit rush. coz mr ng say he going off at 4 like tat.
so haf an hr on sec1s, rest on us seniors lor.
he quite bad mood at 1st. the mood swing lor.
weiting, a sec one clarinet cried.
he tried to comfort her.
then hahaz. he tell mi this..." yingyin, u be my witness, i nvr scold her rite?"
hahaz. he noe my name....finally...
last time col mi is "oei!" or " de french horn gal"
lolx.

oh my goodness! this blogger ish reali so......lag...delete my entry lor. then now have to rewrite. lucky i copy the 1st part. or else im gona cry.

he sort of tell the sec1s that, at times he dun mean to shout at them. then he tell mi that we dun reali deserve a sliver, we r juz lucky. then tell the sec1s that they are attending the 2007 SYF. they have to maintain the silver, beta dun drop to bronze lor.

he also tell the sec1s about fuchun. they got 31 players attending. den he silent alot of ppl. in the end left onli 20 or even less players is reali playing the whole piece. the rest juz play at sum parts lor. he sae maybe they think fuchun so small sum more i think they noe that got a number of players kana silent bahs. but then they should judge on the playing n the sound quality more than the appearance. but it seems that they judge on fuchun's apperance liek 50% instead of 10% lor. fuchun is reali gud. they got alot of potential indiviual..=) mr ng also say so. but then they got intonation problem. so think they get bronze lor. but then, i heard them played, b4 our syf. they sounded reali gud. the sound is so power. haiz. =(

mr ng heard that got complains or sth. coz day 1 n 2 got alot of band get silvers. so is like unfair or sth. so day 3 onwards, cant give silvers liao. but in the end, day 3 got alot of bands got silvers!! coz day3 bamds all gud band. so its impossible to give them a bronze rite? so day 4. most of the bands all bronze de. so fuchun suei lor. together wif them. then haiz. ok lar. past ish past. just think abit unfair. feel depressed for them. they are gud. reali gud.



main band.
we played "The Thunderer"
gosh! beginning 3rd horn uni wif 1st horn.
i dwn there darm nervous.
coz i haven been pitching high notes, plus i haven warm up.
the note ish reali high.
so i dun reali dare to play.
mr ng duno also.
lol.
but then in the end still have to play.
n to my surprised,
i can pitch!!!
oh my goodness!!!
qabir can be my witness right??
lol
im sssssooo happy!!!
yay!!!!
went abit bersak!!!
lol.......=)

need to prepare alot of songs. those long time never play songs. hehex. yay! "The Next Octave". long time no play together as a band. hmm.

mr ng say that got overseas bands cuming to singapore during june i guess. im going lor. sure the lor. got us there, japan!!!,etc. hmm. i wonder that oversea fren of my (emily) is in the us there de band. hmm. hope so. =)
he also said that he's planning a overseas band exchange. wif malaysia lar. KL there. they say that they are gud. hmm. he say play " First Love-addicted to you".lol. dun think so. hahaz. if reali play. shikin die xia. lotsa pitching. hehex. we r going either this june holidays or after Olevels. think ish after O levels de. sure one.

we might be participating a pop competition which is cuming soon i guess. june holidays bahx. he sae play " Latin Pop Special". wa!!! horn de part darm sianz. haiz.

PFT cuming lor. this cuming thurs is the run for girls. see mi ran haf way shouting for tissue. hahaz. lol.






[god,
thx for the cell grp u had planned.
its reali fun meeting sarah, mark n elaine.
thx for everything.
amen.]

juz leave mi alone.
im not wrg.
dun eva u try to push all the blames to mi.
everything has its reason.
u dun even wana hear mine.
hu u think u are.
fine.
just leave mi alone.

y must i endure unreasonable people.
i had done nth wrg at all.
i really duno ma.
cant u juz think of how i feel before u sae.
u noe nth.
nth at ALL!!!

u fuck my day up.
tell mi how im i going to revise my test.
TELL MI LA!
i think u hardly cares.
or i shld say,
"ITS NOT UR PROBLEM AT ALL!!"
SHOO OFF THEM
I DUN NEED U TO CARE.
JUZ SHOO OFF!
GO AWAY!!!!











[god,
4give mi.
i reali cant take it.
sori.
amen.]

i noe i shldn't be here now. is rather late liao. i shld be resting. coz im still sick.beta abit.but then i juz cant help studying my literature now. im trying my best to like shakespeare's play. but then twelfth night is reali so difficult for mi to understand lor. all those latin languages here n there. so lengthy. lalalaalalalala. wif all those chim chim words trying to kill mi.i keep on reading n looking for the meanings online. if i check the meaning wif my so-called real dictionary rite, can find till the next morning, or 3 weeks frm now. plus sum of the words reali hav to find the meaning online.
haiz. reali waste alot of time. shld i juz drop this subject n concentrate more on other subjects?? suggestions plz!!! i need suggestions!!!


reali very difficult lor. my eng is so sux. so its like. my chances of passing my literature is so thin now. althought in the past my lit is far more beta then my eng.nw ish like, getting sssssooooo difficult. i cant get As fot it lor. X( my eng already freak mi out like siao liao. then here cums another lit...argh!!!!!



y must i scored for my lit wen i was in sec2. i regretted so much xia! arghx!

i think i beta rest now. i hope that i wun think about anything wen i close my eyes. i dun wana dream about it neither.i wana have a break. monday got lit test!!! arghx!!!!

the syf results this year...


http://www.syf2005band.blogspot.com/

wtf. fuchun shldn't get a bronze! macpherson got silver liao lor! hey! r the judges slping or sth??!!! siao lor. so 2pit. ffffffffff!!!
hey doesn't mean that fuchun is a small band lor. they got the power lehx. so wad if others r big bands? even if fuchun got 12 person play also got the sound of a big band lor. judges are u slping???wadeva.

im sick yet again. its seems to be getting worse.i juz came back frm the doc,to get stronger medicine. fever come n go. wads wrg wif mi!?









getting weaker.

i noe i shldn't be here blogging now. i shld be resting. lalala. wadeva the thing is. but all those resting seems not to help mi at all. im still so sick. darm sick. i also duno y. medication seems not working.
today in class, i seems to be actting like a moron. thats not my usual mi. sitting dwn there, nvr tok at all. go PE, sit dwn there looking at my frens run. recess seems to be much more better. i got open my mouth n sae sum words.
after recess, i felt so sleepy after medicine. i dwn there grumbling wan to go home n so eva. i also duno y i say that. then went a bit out of my mind. wadeva.
after maths test. my mind seems to be relief n my mood tend to be much better. went band rm, sec1s got band. darren conduct. lalalala. do sum of the signing in n out thingy, help joyce. then see how the sec1s progress.



fuchun got bronze. wth. its so impossible. i almost cried lor. coz like it seems to be so sux or sth. i juz cant make myself to believe lor. they sounded strg n power. but then y in the end like tat. i reali feel sad for them. alot lor. my mood will be darm sulky these few days. haiz. like having depression like tat. dun be suprise.
sengkang sec got silver neway.





i dun think i can get well.
it seems to get worsen or sth.
going without food for nearly 13hrs today.
see how m i gona get well...

hmm. so sianz. i jz finish our band the cloth thingy. we used ytd the kfc free gift to make a band so-called poster or sth. then i went to deco it lor. hmm. i finish all those wordy thingys liao. nw left wif those decorating stuffs to make the cloth looks gud. my hands n arms were all stained wif the ink. black ink sum more. jialat. my marmie going to scold mi for the 2nd thime. haiz. hvm lar. blame cloth's quality. so lan de lor. the ink take soo darm bloodly long to dry on the cloth lor. 2pit. lol. smelly too. X0
hmm. im sick. dwn wif blocked nose n sore throat n abit of fever i guess. haiz. hu cares. after syf n im sick. sianz. tml got maths test. so scared. =<

nvr go for sports day today. im sssssoooooo tored n restless. i also duno y like tat. my lips still hurts alot and applying lots of lip balm dun seems to help lor. haiz. there's still bloodstains on my lips now. eeeekkkksss!!!=(
i wonder wad is the next band practise. i wonder how mr ng will say about our performance.
to add on about ytd, after our syf, i was pass pass de hall where the audience are. i heard a guy saying this " juz another bronze sound". wtf. but then in te end we got silver lor. so hack care lor.
mt throat so dry. mt nose keep running. i think im sick liao. after all this. =(

yay!!!! band got silver!!!!!! woohooo!!!!! im so darm surprised!!! im so scared that i might screw up. coz ytd i got 5 cracks on my lips. bled. then stain my lips. eeekkkks!!!! pain lor. n i noe that im stupid enoff to sum more go n drink cold water n im outside the sws band rm jumping like a mad woman. in the end coz too pain ma, i pai to the toilet n spilt out the water.
i tot we get bronze lor. coz i dun think i played well. haf way through right, my horn got alot of saliva. so it like i dun dare to blast lor. later i spoil the sound. hmm. but then nvm. we got silver neway. hahaz. lor. so i beta dun think too much.


orchid park frm COP -> gold with honours!!! such a great jump xia! so shocking!!!sum more conductor nvr change lor!then they get gold wif honours. piang! so unbelieveable! nah. hu cares. oops!


tml gona pong sch. coz reali reali very tired. so stress up during our past few intensive practises. if we get a bronze rite, i will reali cry de lor. practice so hard, put in our heart n soul. sum more blood xia. lol



9th HENDERSON SECONDARY got silver.
15th ST. GABRIEL’S SECONDARY got silver.
21st ORCHID PARK SECONDARY frm COP to Gold wif honors.
32 ANG MO KIO SECONDARY sliver.
33 YISHUN SECONDARY cop.
34 PAYA LEBAR METHODIST GIRLS sliver.
35 DUNEARN SECONDARY gold.
36 WOODLANDS SECONDARY sliver.
37 TANJONG KATONG SECONDARY gold.



the dunearn rite, hahaz. so gud lor! horn solos!!! so gud!!! they play the song so interesting. suddenly got human voices screaming. then stamp their foots. later they sing. hahahahahahahaz. the piece so fun to play! shld change to choir band xia. lolx.

woodlands played the "Blue Ridge Saga" if im not wrg. then TKSS play the fire storm, song, la lala la i 4get liao. i pity the gal holding the claps lar. she had to smack it so loud. later deaf xia. lor.




nice pose huh? tatz mr boonkai... 
this picture up there is taken b4 we go to sws band rm on monday...hahaz..


hahaz..boonkai so kelian rite??? 
this picture up there ish taken after syf....while waiting for the bus to cum....

arranging my trumpets n horn scores. hmm. found sum really old songs. yar. today band ok lor. got see improvement for the ending n sum parts of the songs. thats a gud thing. tues syf liao. its cuming so fast. hmm. kind of nervous lor.
tml going SWS band rm again. nr ng sae wana kapo instruments n sum stuffs. hope he can kapo the alexander horn for mi. but it seems to be an impossible task. hahaz. an for now, i reali prefer my horn then anything else. coz i lurbee my horn. hahaz. lame xia mi.
tml have to report at 6.45am. we got to play our sfy pieces as well as school song n national anthem for the school. then after recess we can be dismissed frm class, coz we are heading towards SWS!!! yippee!!! XP i hope it wun stinks so much. last time it reali stinks. lol. im gona go there again to count how many horns they have. hahaz. i know im such a retard. but then thats is wad im reali gona do. hahaz. =)
neway, juz to add on, the shakepeare play that i had attend last friday rite, the actors n actress took onli 6 weeks to make the play happen lor. it seems so impossible! but then they can do it. pros lor. it a success anyway. =)







Xx.if i were you, i rather give up be4 i breakdwn.xX





webbie for the syf judging list......
http://refat.blogspot.com/2005/03/syf-2005-central-judging-for-concert.html

isn't this cute??

im all alone at home again. this ish wad i hate. i hate to be left again. haiz. i think i rather spent my lonliness at the beach. its where i find fresh peace n quiet. ...
ytd went to DBS center to watch the shakespeare's play- twelfth nitex. i tot its at esplanade. lol. im addicted to there lor. hmm. got school students dere. nayang sec, st gabriel, tanjong katong girls n sum more. the play ish funi at first. the gesture also very funi. sum parts abit NC16 to mi. my fren also. reali. im so impressed wif the guy that actted sir toby. he reali burp on the stage. lol. the sir andrew also. he is played by a female. the play starting ish interesting. the slowly it get so bored. i dun reali understand wad they r toking aboit on sum parts coz its like the british ascent is too strong. then like i tot i heard an indian man toking instead. lol. ending is ok. got fencing. then fighting. den happy ending. sebastian+ olivia. viola+ orsino. actually olivio like viola coz viola actted as a guy frm the act one scence 3 onwards. coz i think viola like his master, orsino ,n orsino like olivia. then orsino wanted viola to act as a messenger to tell olivia that orsino like her.think the play shld be like tat. den wen olivia see viola at 1st sight, she sort of fall in luv wif "her" for she tot tat she's a guy. lol
after that sebastian appear. he look like viola. for in the end, wen the truth is out or sth lar. they found out that sebastian n viola are sister n brother. yupx. olivia's father in the play reali send all of us laff like siao. coz he's a holy person. he is so cute lor. he got a innocent looking face, actted blur blur de, then he reali looks holy lor.


hmm. today during band. wen mr ng cums in, he's like blur blur lor. i duno wads he's thinking or sth. i noe that he's not in his true self today. he's trying to act or cover himself today. duno y. then qabir sae he looks werid today. iszit becoz he is scared to scold liao or sth? juz becoz i cried in front of him on thurs? haiz. fine.
the break us to brass n woodwinds for sectional. he break the woodwinds first for breakfast then later brass. we got quite alot of break today. hmm. then at 12 like tat got another break to 1pm. then do sectional for an hr lor.


3 more days toi syf. reali scared lor. so nervous also. but then, althought i can control my mood now, i duno whe in band i can control or not. coz, everytime, its always band that breaks mi dwn. =(

ok. i so surprised tat i will cry in band today. is like, it happen so suddenly. i guess perheps i cant take the so-called stress mentally or physically, or both or sth. body reaction??
mr ng keep on telling us to repeat e same old bars again n again. wads wrg wif him. den later sae play loud then play soft, he ask us to play soft, after we finish rite, he sae " louder lar, y play so soft?". i darm fucking piss out wif him today lor. the feeling is really darm overwhelming. wadeva. hmm. then later, he ask us to play bar 36. ok. we play for him, again n again. he duno how tired we are lor. he nvr dismiss us for break today at all!!!! all of us for sure cant take it de ma. den he keep on asking us to repeat again n again, refuse to let us go break. fine. i so darm pissed off lor. in the end, is like i duno suddenly my chest feel so tight. then like cant tahan anymore, feel like vomiting abit. yar. den i try to control. but ish like, mr ng is dwn dere "fucking" here n there, yelling or wadeva. fine lor. i control but then my tears simply cant control. i found a tear flowing dwn frm my right eye. i was like telling myself, " no matter wad happens rite, im not going to cry in front of mr ng lor! i will hate myself 4eva de lor". but too bad, my body cant take it any longer, so i breakdwn crying n all sorts lor. i put dwn my instrument n i juz walk out of the hall n ran to the toilet n cry.
im thinking y shld i cry lor. is like, y last time i can take it not now? last time i still can control myself wen i wan to cry. but then now ish like i CANT!!! wtf. ok.
i hate myself now. u ask mi? i already tell u liao. fine. i duno wad im toking. wen i reach home, i was telling my marmie wad had happened lor. den she was like so shocked! then tok to mi for awhile which make mi sob sob alittle lor.
but reali, i feel so much beta after crying lor. now like my heart abit tight tight lor. i shld relax xia. or else on sunday if mr ng start bitching or fucking, i dun think i can take it liao lor.

duno y the 2pit construction workers hav to block my way home. covering all the place here n there. i duno change daily walking route how many times. i was walking home. then like coz the shortcut is cut liao, so i walk towards the park there coz the construcion workers put up the sign "this way please". so i walk towards it. wen i reach there. there is no route for mi to walk at all, coz they block it. wtf. wad for putting up that sign? so 2pit lor. ok, i walk one whole big round after that. n i took 15mins to reach home instead of 5mins. fine.i dun reali mind all those walking or wad lor. is juz that i duno suddenly i feel so piss. im so darm siao in class today wif all my lame toopit jokes, throwing sweets around...so on. haiz. duno lar. mood swing lor. i lied to my mum that i had eaten my lunch. (forgive mi lord) im sori. for i reali dun have the mood to open my mouth n eat lor. later then i eat my dinner or sth. haiz.haiz. nvr go for sectional today. tired lor. wana take a gud rest. coz my shoulders are aching. plus i need to stay at home coz marmie ask mi to lor. =(hmm. now jie still having her wordpower test. she was late for it lor. then saw her running towards her class. hahaz. =P



^hApPy bUrfdae sIeW hUa jIe jIe!!!^



hahaz. i was so crazy about haw flakes all of a sudden. i was muching in class with it. i suddenly thinks that it so nice lor....beta then the sweets xia...=P

hehex...haw flakes...

ok. im wasting lots n lots of ink now. i lost one whole stack of SS notes. n i borrowed deborah's to photocopy. being such a lasy bum. i decided to photocopy myself. n now. im printing. its so slow. printer-photocopier is like tat. so darm slow. my hands r so numb. so many pages lor.
haiz. after that must sturdie my literature liao. so wad if im skipping the teat on next moday? i still have to sturdie. lol. coz hav to go to SWS bad rm for rehearsal ma. haiz. im gona skip gep lessons. gona miss ms khoo. she's so funky! XP


finally im done wif all the photocopying stuffs. altogether got around 40pages bahx. hmm. im doing sum online studying. faster lor. check the online dictionary n there are sum french n latin inside. so its like quite blur lor. haiz. got ot buck up alot in my literature. so more sturdies!!!

todae. i feel like a santa xia. coz its like, im trying to clear one large tin of sweets in my hse, then i brought quite a number of sweets in class today. hahaz. to wake that deborah up frm her wonderland. lol. also liling ask mi to bring ma. so i bring tons lor. hahaz.=)
band wise, tot mr ng nvr cum. in the end he pai frm fuchun to give us practice. shld i be touch? hmm. la la la lalalalalala. wadeva. im glad that yuchun finally improve in her horn playing. thats a gud sign. but then she tend to tongue so hard n it reali sounds like she breathe at every note lor. duno lar. im gona train her alot liao. or else wen darren n qabir step dwn, i duno wad to do lor.
hahaz. my dear senior is ssssooooo tired hor. he slept in band today xia. hahaz. then like im so scared tat the horn will drop hor. hahaz. darren yuchun n mi was dwn dere laffing. of coz im the most siao one lar. can laff like siao n non-stop. coz? im a siao cha bo! hahaz. even wen im in a bad mood or sth, theres's is always sth to cheer mi up. n thats ish laughter!!! hahaz. feel ssssssssooooooo great to be a siao cha bo xia. ok. im getting lame here. hmm. today, i duno y, i keep on laffing for nth. even sticking out my tongue or toking to yuchun i will laff like siao. yuchun must be thinking that " y i got a siao senior". lol.
mr ng. PMS. haiz. but at least today he beta mood lar. then tok about buffet n all sort of stuffs. i also duno wad shit he toking. coz im laffing. i think if qabir read this entry or hueva hor, will be having 2nd thoughts of wanting to let this siao cha bo here to go to mental hospital xia. lol.















^hApI bUrFdAe dEaR gOr!!!^

^hApI bUrFdAe sErEnE!!!^

^hApI bUrFdAe vAlArIe!!!^

^hApI bUrFdAe lIxUaN!!!^

everyone is juz so stressful upon the upcoming syf. i cant denied that i dun. seriously i am stress up n scared. coz i reali duno how to correct so many different parts in 1 week's time. haiz.
went SWS band rm for practice today. wen we enter the rm rite, all of us was like complaining about the digusting smell lor. u imagine the odour of "hongkong foot", "saliva", "leather", "metal", "gease oil"...mix them up. the smell reali stink lor! X0. now i still can smell the 2pit smell. like trapped in my lungs lor! puke!
mt lips crack. coz too cold. n its like my lips too dry up. i keep on playing the wrg notes. im prepared to get scolding by mr ng on wed after he hear the recording. i was try to catch sum nap in the bus, coz headache ma. den the 2pit wei chian dwn dere keep on singing n singing lor. he reali tone-deaf. n its reali soo terrible n i believe that no wan will want to listern to it lor. the glass will crack into millions n millions of tiny winnie bits xia. wadeva. i duno woke up how many times wen he starts singing. n in the end, my headache gets worst. haiz. how at least feel much beta.
tml got band. sch is so darm sianz each day now. i juz cant get the shakespeare thingy insert to my brain!!! haiz. gona fail fail fail. going to the shakespeare play on friday at esplanade. hmm. think maybe after the play, i will noe the shakespeare thingy beta.





so sad lor. i buy the billabong pencil case for my gor as his burfdae present he nvr use. sum more i give him earlier lehx. haiz. tml is his burfdae. lol.

my gor's burfdae present frm mi... 

juz now went swimming after my tution. 4 hr plus. sian xia. swam 2o laps onli. keep on competing wif my cousin. i won! muhahahaz. XP
ok. now doing the 2pit virse scan. sianz. scan all the 2pit files. got the trojan n the backdoor virse. duno wad the hell ish that bloddly thing. fine.
hmm. kind of excited for tml. going SWS band rm. yay! hahaz. wonder how it look like. hmm. hahaz. mr ng our sound will be quite dead. coz of the rm. hmm.

*yawn*
im sssssoooooo tired. is like for the past two days i have been slping so late. thurs nite slp at 2am n fri was like i almost slept in band and then ytd i slept at 3am. ok. i wake up at 6am and went outside to eat my breakfast that time, i sleep on my sofa. reali lor. im reali very tired.
like wad i had said. im late for band today. kana 20 pushups frm ms johnson. i nvr eat my breafast. i was so darm hungry. den till gastric. went to eat medi. sianz. the weather ish like so darm cold. so doing 20 pushups ish like so shiock lor! hahahaz. mr ng sae he will cum at 7.30am de lor. n he sae he wan to start at that timing. in the end he cum at 8.10am. wt. nvm. same thing that he keep on practicing every band practice...scolding.
mr nomami cum at 9am. then he started teaching. wen we cant get things rite, there will be a mad person dwn there behind mr nonami doing sum 2pit lame gestures. we dun even bother to look. b4 mr nonami go, he tell the horn section tat the way we hold the horn ish wrg. then he cum towards us n sae. he sae that the rite hand is important than left hand-> one of the reasons y horn are make that way. then like we must sumtimes sound like a trombone or eupho. cant be like a horn. for sum parts of the music, our rite hand whick ish put inside the bell must so-called "move alittle or sth"->change the sound/tone. hmm. must learn xia.
mr ng left for fuchun at 11.45am. we have our lunch till 12.30pm n start to hav our sectionals. we are at J blk de 2nd lvl dere. ok. manage to teach yuchun alittle b4 that darren try to interrupt. hmm. she got abit improvement. so im reali glad. the sound she produced rite, reali sound like qabir. hmm. maybe becoz she sat next to him bahx. duno lor. possible.
after band, went sp wif waimin, songying, liyi n ltr judith. went mac to nibble sum food. hahaz. im juz so tired lor. i ltr slp at mac for a while lor. n that waimin scared mi to death wen she try to wake mi up. lol.
the moment wen i reach home n bathe, i pop on my gor's bed n start slping till 9pm wen my dear marmie wake mi up n ask mi to slp on my bed. i continue slping till now n i cant reali slp liao. hahaz. then im online here lor. hahaz. tired mi. haiz.
yay! mon going to SWS band rm xia! cant wait! XP

ok. juz finishing toking on the phone wif leong. i forget about my hp bills. im sure its gona explode. hahaz. sure de xia. wadeva. im here to relief my stress alittle. do the geo folio till i so so craxy. i think im gona slp at 2am. piang! then tml still got band. must report at 6.45am. crazi. nvm. think gona be late. i duo whe i can wake up or notx. *hmm*

Ghee! hahaz. i dun think u peeks will believe that i went to watch spongebob square pants the movie. spenting $7.50 to watch it. hahaz. i cant believe that i juz spent my money like tat. is like, the movie is so lame lor and i can watch it in kids central rite? hahaz. maybe too stress to think about anything wen leong hwee ask mi whe one to catch a movie or notx, then juz agree lor. i ask deborah to tag along wif us.
it seems to be a bit rushing. coz leonghwee dismiss late. den kind of waut for him for a while. den reach there quite late liao. den go cold storage to but sum snacks lor. kind of late for the movie. hahaz. we are sort of surrounded wif kids n those "baby teenages"..lolx. quite alot of angmo. hahaz. duno why also. the movie ish kind of lame n 2pit. hahaaz. and sum more abit NC16 at the last part. hahaz. dotx lor.
then i went to buy a burfdae pressi for my gor. a billabong pencil case. ask him whe he like it or not, he dwn there playing maple. *dao*. nvm. he sort of like it he sae. but then its too big lor. duno lar.
after that wen to a music shop n shop. then went home lor. actually i wana go swimming at 8pm. duno y after i bathe, i get go restless n tired n pop on my gor's bed n slp. hahaz. so funi lor.
gtg pia my geo folio. tata! XP



happy burfdae wei shuan! XP